We Wish You Molasses Cookies, and a Happy New Year

Greetings Ninjas in Training,

As the year 2015 draws to a close, bloggers everywhere are writing sentimental posts… summing up their super productive year, and sharing their hopes for a super productive-er 2016. I thought I’d share my thoughts too:

  1. You guys really need to try these molasses cookies
  2. I really need to write more on this blog
  3. Lists need three things

In order to address this list, I plan to do the following:

  1. Share the recipe for these freaking delicious cookies
  2. Ask you all to comment on this post with topic suggestions, questions, and marriage proposals for 2016
  3. Make both of these lists have three items even though I only had two things to say

So. First thing’s first:

Molasses Cookies!

Ingredients:

1/2 c white cane sugar, plus extra for just before baking
1/2 c brown cane sugar (NB: many brands of brown sugar are actually just white cane sugar sprayed with beet molasses. This is not ninja friendly! Read the label, always!)
3/4 c lard
3 egg yolks
3 1/2 Tbsp unsulfured blackstrap molasses (again, make sure it is cane, not beet!)
2 c spelt flour
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp pink Himalayan salt

Notes:

You may notice these cookies have no spices. I am currently not sure of the CA content of spices like cinnamon and nutmeg, but they make me sick, so I don’t eat them. Ginger definitely contains CA, at 0.1% by weight when raw. It is likely that ginger as a spice has a much higher CA%, since water contributes a lot to the weight of raw ginger, but there is no water in the spice. Luckily, you don’t need spices to make delicious cookies! As for other modifications, you can use 1 whole egg, regular flour, and regular salt. Do not use shortening as a replacement for the lard, it’s made from vegetables of doom. I have not tested the recipe with any of those replacements, nor have I tested it with a gluten-free flour. Please leave a comment if you do and it tastes good! Or if it tastes bad, so others don’t suffer your fate 😀

Directions:

  1. In one bowl, set the lard out to soften.
  2. In another bowl, combine flour, baking soda, and salt.
  3. Back to the first bowl! Add in the sugar, and cream together with the shortening.
  4. Add the egg to the sugar and shortening. Beat until light and fluffy.
  5. Stir in the molasses.
  6. Stir in the dry ingredients from the other bowl. It should form a nice big ball.
  7. Chill the dough for a few hours (overnight is fine too).
  8. Roll the chilled dough into 1″ balls. Then roll the balls in sugar!
  9. Place the balls of sugary dough on a parchment-lined baking sheet, about 2″ apart.
  10. Bake at 375° for 8-10 minutes. Don’t let the cookies brown, or they won’t be chewy and delicious.
  11. Let the cookies sit on the baking sheet for a few minutes after taking them out of the oven. Then put them on a cooling rack.
  12. Eat all of the cookies. Eat them NOW.
  13. No seriously. I dare you to stop eating these cookies.
nom nom nom

nom nom nom

Now that you’re full of cookies, I do hope to help you have a ninja-tastic new year, so please leave comments about what you’d like to see on this blog next year! All citric acid-related questions, from cooking to real world survival to treatments are fair game. My goal is one post per month: January will be (drumroll please) CHOCOLATE! Finally 🙂

Have a wonderful start to 2016, ninjalings.
Until next time, when life gives you lemons, RUN!!!
The Lemon Ninja