We Wish You Molasses Cookies, and a Happy New Year

Greetings Ninjas in Training,

As the year 2015 draws to a close, bloggers everywhere are writing sentimental posts… summing up their super productive year, and sharing their hopes for a super productive-er 2016. I thought I’d share my thoughts too:

  1. You guys really need to try these molasses cookies
  2. I really need to write more on this blog
  3. Lists need three things

In order to address this list, I plan to do the following:

  1. Share the recipe for these freaking delicious cookies
  2. Ask you all to comment on this post with topic suggestions, questions, and marriage proposals for 2016
  3. Make both of these lists have three items even though I only had two things to say

So. First thing’s first:

Molasses Cookies!

Ingredients:

1/2 c white cane sugar, plus extra for just before baking
1/2 c brown cane sugar (NB: many brands of brown sugar are actually just white cane sugar sprayed with beet molasses. This is not ninja friendly! Read the label, always!)
3/4 c lard
3 egg yolks
3 1/2 Tbsp unsulfured blackstrap molasses (again, make sure it is cane, not beet!)
2 c spelt flour
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp pink Himalayan salt

Notes:

You may notice these cookies have no spices. I am currently not sure of the CA content of spices like cinnamon and nutmeg, but they make me sick, so I don’t eat them. Ginger definitely contains CA, at 0.1% by weight when raw. It is likely that ginger as a spice has a much higher CA%, since water contributes a lot to the weight of raw ginger, but there is no water in the spice. Luckily, you don’t need spices to make delicious cookies! As for other modifications, you can use 1 whole egg, regular flour, and regular salt. Do not use shortening as a replacement for the lard, it’s made from vegetables of doom. I have not tested the recipe with any of those replacements, nor have I tested it with a gluten-free flour. Please leave a comment if you do and it tastes good! Or if it tastes bad, so others don’t suffer your fate 😀

Directions:

  1. In one bowl, set the lard out to soften.
  2. In another bowl, combine flour, baking soda, and salt.
  3. Back to the first bowl! Add in the sugar, and cream together with the shortening.
  4. Add the egg to the sugar and shortening. Beat until light and fluffy.
  5. Stir in the molasses.
  6. Stir in the dry ingredients from the other bowl. It should form a nice big ball.
  7. Chill the dough for a few hours (overnight is fine too).
  8. Roll the chilled dough into 1″ balls. Then roll the balls in sugar!
  9. Place the balls of sugary dough on a parchment-lined baking sheet, about 2″ apart.
  10. Bake at 375° for 8-10 minutes. Don’t let the cookies brown, or they won’t be chewy and delicious.
  11. Let the cookies sit on the baking sheet for a few minutes after taking them out of the oven. Then put them on a cooling rack.
  12. Eat all of the cookies. Eat them NOW.
  13. No seriously. I dare you to stop eating these cookies.
nom nom nom

nom nom nom

Now that you’re full of cookies, I do hope to help you have a ninja-tastic new year, so please leave comments about what you’d like to see on this blog next year! All citric acid-related questions, from cooking to real world survival to treatments are fair game. My goal is one post per month: January will be (drumroll please) CHOCOLATE! Finally 🙂

Have a wonderful start to 2016, ninjalings.
Until next time, when life gives you lemons, RUN!!!
The Lemon Ninja

A post about Mulan, apparently.

Greetings, Ninjas in Training!

Many apologies for my extended absence, both from here and from my email lair.  If I haven’t responded to your inquiry, I promise it’s not because I hate you (probably).  Either your message was so awesome I was unable to muster the brain power to answer it, or your  message was so awesome that I’m working on a post about it. (See: the several messages I have gotten about chocolate. Post forthcoming, my ninjalings!)

My health is still pretty shaky, so updates and email contact may come and go in bursts. I have started a new treatment, and of course I shall let you all know whether or not it makes any difference in my ninja tolerance levels. Also, I am allergic to my computer and am using an iPad right now, so fancy updates to the site may have to wait. I can’t even go back in my writing to make edits (that extra space between “your” and “message” is driving me INSANE), so updating the non-blog pages may cause me to spontaneously combust.

And now for something fun… the recipe for my latest snack obsession! This is my mom’s recipe for homemade jello. You can substitute any kind of tea that is within your tolerance, or even fruit juice if you can handle that (nix the sugar, though).

Homemade  Jell-o

Ingredients:

*1 tablespoon plain gelatin (I use the orange labeled Great Lakes brand)
*1 cup water (hot) + 1.5 cup water (room temp)
*3 bags chamomile tea (WARNING: some brands of tea use citric acid or citrates in their tea bags. This will not be on the label, so always call the manufacturer before trying something new!)
*3 tablespoons organic brown sugar (WARNING: make sure it is pure cane sugar. Some companies use beet molasses in their brown sugar… again, this kind of stuff is not on the label, so call and check!)

1. Heat 1 cup water until very hot, but not boiling. Steep 3 bags of chamomile tea for 5 minutes.
2. Prepare the gelatin as per the directions on the box (this is called “blooming.”) It works best to do this in the big bowl you will do all the mixing in- I use a 4 cup Pyrex pitcher.
3. Now, pour the tea–

(sorry, I had to!)–into the gelatin slurry and stir for about a minute until the gelatin is dissolved.
4. Add 3 tablespoons of organic brown sugar, and stir till dissolved.
5. Add another 1.5 cups of water and stir. Squeeze the tea bags into the mix to get all that flavor in there!
6. Separate into four serving cups and refrigerate for 25 minutes. Nom to your heart’s content!

 

That’s all for now, ninjas-in-training! Until next time…
When life gives you lemons, RUN!
LN