Spice Up Your Life (With a Cure!)

Greetings, Ninjas in Training!

2016 brought me a lot of ups and downs, but there was one up that was the uppiest up of all: a cure.


You heard me right, ninjalings. An actual cure for my citric acid allergy/sensitivity/whatever. Wanna know what I’ve eaten over the past three months, with no resulting anaphylaxis and continually decreasing neurological symptoms?

  • A nibble of cucumber
  • About 1/8 of an apple
  • 6 raisins
  • Two whole flippin carrots
  • A whole freaking sweet potato

Each of these foods (aside from the carrot) contain 0.1% citric acid.

Wanna know what I was eating before I started my program 4 months ago?

  • Not a molecule of cucumber
  • Not 0/8 of an apple
  • Not anything remotely resembling a raisin
  • Not anything that had been touched by a carrot
  • Not even sweet potatoes in my sweetest dreams


This is a real cure, guys.


Now, notice I said “a” cure, not “the” cure. Everyone is different. Other ninjas have had success with things that have not worked for me, but those cures and treatments are equally valid. I hope someday to write in detail about those. For now, there is one treatment that numerous ninjas seem to have success with, and that is CoA-boosting supplements. Please check out Milind’s website for a detailed explanation of that!

But now, on to the magical cure that I’m super excited to share with you!


Well, it’s not so much magic as it is neuroplasticity.

What is neuroplasticity, you ask?

This is essentially a concept that tells us the brain can grow and change – it is plastic, not static. You might have heard this term used to explain why children can learn languages better than adults – their brains are more plastic, so they can build new neural pathways better than adults can.


But that doesn’t mean that adults can’t rewire their brains too! Think about stroke victims: part of their brain was damaged, but with incredible determination, patience, and a heck of a lot of repetition, they can build new pathways that enable them to walk and speak again.

As it turns out, this principle can be applied to other types of healing too.

There is a part of your brain called the limbic system that is in charge of a lot of things, including memory, emotions, immediate trauma response, fear associations, general health management, and then some. Look, isn’t it cute?


I’m Blue, da ba dee da ba daa…

This part of the brain can be damaged through physical, emotional, and chemical trauma. And when it’s damaged, it can lead to all sorts of health problems: chemical sensitivity, depression, PTSD, anxiety, chronic fatigue, and, most importantly (in our case), food sensitivities.

Wait, what? Why though?

Remember how I mentioned the limbic system is involved in immediate trauma response? You know how if there’s a bus coming towards you, you will jump out of the way without even thinking about it?


When it’s injured, sometimes the limbic system creates these automatic responses for the wrong things.


A lot of times, but not always, these things were present at the time of trauma, and so your brain learned incorrectly that you need to have an automatic protection response to these things.


(If you haven’t seen Spice World, what are you doing with your life?)

How many of you suddenly started having problems with citric acid after a virus, a round of antibiotics, or a vaccine? How many of you had a great deal of stress in your life preceding your induction into ninjahood? I have heard these stories again and again from countless ninjas who have written me to share their stories. I personally donned my shinobi shōzoku after a vaccine, and my other allergies pretty much went cray at that point as well.

(A shinobi shōzoku is a ninja outfit, in case you were wondering.)

So, it turns out the root cause of my ninjaness was actually a brain injury. How am I fixing it?


Also, I am using a program called the Dynamic Neural Retraining System.

What is it? It is a series of scientifically-based exercises that help you prune off those well-intentioned-but-harmful neural pathways, and build new ones that dictate an appropriate response. The program also involves some language changes that create the proper chemical environment for neural genesis.

Some of you might be thinking, “It sounds like she’s saying it’s all in our heads.”

Well… technically, your brain is in your head, so.

But no ninjalings, we are talking about physical neurons here. Your brain is the command center for a lot of things; it can and does conduct the symphony that is outlandish responses to foods.


I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that it took me ages to figure out what my trigger was, and even longer to discover exactly what was and was not safe to eat. Lots of this was found out by trial and error before I discovered The List, which then validated the personal list I’d been keeping of foods that made me stop breathing.

I am not crazy. You are not crazy. My silly brain (and maybe yours too!) just decided to pick the wrong target. But there is a way to fix it!

I cannot say enough about this program. It is a lot of work – I must do it for at least an hour a day, every day. But it is worth it.

It is worth it.

I am healing.

I am HEALING!!!!


That’s all for now, ninjalings.
Pretty soon, when life gives me lemons, I won’t run… I’ll EAT THEM 😀
(But definitely still running for now.)
The Lemon Ninja

PS ~ I should add that I have been using homeopathy in combination with the DNRS. I believe both are indispensable to my particular complex needs, and I encourage others with complex needs to look into seeing a homeopath. However, I believe it is possible for many ninjas to benefit from and heal themselves with the DNRS alone. I’m not a doctor, blah blah blah, you know the drill.

PPS ~ Part of the DNRS is not focusing on the things that your body used to respond to poorly, so I will not be giving ninja tips for awhile. Please direct ninja questions to this awesome group on Facebook. I will continue to post recipes (I swear I’m still working on the one from the contest!) and, as I heal more, I may be back with more survival lessons. I sincerely hope some of you will look into this program and will have success with it. Feel free to ask questions about it on this post – I will try to answer those questions, because healing is awesome and important!

PPPS ~ The results of the renaming poll are in: #no1curr. Ok like, 4 people cared, split evenly between yes and no. But the nin-jority is content to continue Googling “Lemon Ninja” to find the site, so we’ll just leave it at that!

PPPPS ~ Please don’t ask me how this post went from Excited Sue to Spice World because I honestly have no idea.

She Looked at the Label, But She Never Expected to Find THIS

Greetings Ninjas in Training!

I’m really sorry about that post title… I think it’s hilarious and that’s kind of a problem. I’m sure you’re all wondering about that label reading contest. Well, let’s get right to it!

Here is the label you were asked to read:


Using the techniques outlined in this post, let’s look for the villains in our ninja hero story:

Any citric acid or citrates?

Nope! Ninjas who only react to synthetic citric acid would be just fine eating this. But the ninjas with reactions to the natural stuff have to look a little further.

Any whole foods above your tolerance level?

Using my tolerance level of zero, here’s what we find:

Palm oil – made from palm fruit #nope
Soybean oil – soy is forever a #no
Cocoa – this one is tricky, because cocoa is magic; however, if we are just looking at “does it contain citric acid or not,” this would be a #no for very low-tolerance ninjas

Any ingredients derived from citric acid-containing sources?

Sugar – can be from cane (safe) or beets (#nope); cane is more likely to be found in “healthy” or organic snacks because it is non-GMO, whereas beets are almost always GMO and common in junk foods like this
Canola oil – another tricky one; expeller expressed canola oil is safe, but typically this will be specified on the label; with no specification, it is likely cold pressed, which means they likely used citric acid as an additive in the extraction process #bye
High fructose corn syrup – made from corn #nothanks
Cornstarch – away with ye! #corn #nope
Soy Lecithin – contains an alarming 0.8% citric acid #rude
Chocolate – careful here – chocolate and cocoa are not the same thing! Cocoa is pure smushed cacao beans, chocolate is cocoa mixed with any number of mystery ingredients. There could be soy, milk, vegetable fat… #nomysterychocolateforyou

So here is what our label looks like after a good read:


What about the other stuff?

Many of you guessed some of the safe ingredients to be unsafe, so let’s go over those:

Enriched flour – all of the vitamins in this particular enriched flour are synthetic, and not derived from or created with anything remotely resembling citric acid. I’d hazard a guess that most enriched flour is just fine, but watch me say that and then die from eating an entire bag of enriched flour to prove my point.
Leavening –


Leavening is almost always unsafe. Typically it’s made with baking POWDER (which contains corn starch) or cream of tartar/tartaric acid (which is made from grapes, bananas, or tamarinds). This particular leavening contains baking SODA (which is safe) and/or calcium phosphate (also safe), which is actually the combination I use in lieu of baking powder when I make delicious baked goods.
Salt – as long as it’s not garlic salt or some sort of weird seasoning, salt is generally your friend (table, Sea, Pink Himalayan, Celtic, etc.)
Vanillin – vanilliN is artificial and not a problem. The real problem is lazy scientists who have only assured us that vanillA “probably” contains citric acid.

So now what?

Now, please go forth and do not eat Oreos if you want to live.

I have contacted the winner of the contest, so expect a new recipe sometime in the next century probably.

Until then, when life gives you lemons, RUN!
The Lemon Ninja

Facebook Ninja

Greetings, ninjas in training!

It has come to my attention that I am now extremely famous. Really, it’s a good thing I’m homebound, otherwise paparazzi might become an issue.

image(Do you have any idea how hard it was to find one of those “I’m fabulous” meme photos sans profanity? I had to scroll down, like, 3 pages. I need a personal assistant to do these things for me now that I’m famous.)

In any case, I’ve decided to do what most famous people do: open up a Facebook page so it’s easier for you to follow me!

All the awesomeness will still be here; the Facebook page is just to make it easier for Facebook addicts to know when I’ve made a new post or updated the site, rather than having to check their email every five seconds. I know you’re all just sitting there hitting “refresh” and wasting your lives away, and I don’t want to be held responsible for that.

Click here and “like” for your freedom!

That’s all for now… until we meet again, when life gives you lemons, RUN!


Welcome to Ninja Training!

If you suffer from citric acid allergies, you have come to the right place.

I am the Lemon Ninja and I will be your sensei.

Your first lesson is simple: When life gives you lemons, RUN!!!

There are many more important lessons for ninjas-in-training, so have fun exploring, and if there is anything else you’d like to see here, please let me know!  The goal of this site is to be an informative guide for those seeking to avoid citric acid in their diet and environment, and I’d like to provide as much information, both scientific and ninja-tific, as possible.

Watch out for those lemons,
The Lemon Ninja